The End

Yesterday CSR 309 came to life for me. My friend Amy got a group of us together for Tom's shoes national One Day Without Shoes campaign. The night before we printed flyers and spray painted t-shirts for our walk on campus. We started at 10:00 in the morning, walking on campus without any shoes. We handed out flyers and tried to get people aware of what Tom's shoes message was. Children in Ethiopia sometimes can't go to school barefoot and because of silica in the soil, many of them end up with a disease called moss foot. On our flyers was the website for Tom's shoes, where, if someone would buy a pair of shoes, Tom's would donate a pair. It was a one for one deal.

The cause was good, but to see Amy and the rest of us step and try to make a difference was what leadership is all about. Did I mention that this was not for a group, club, or class? We did it because it mattered. Before CSR 309, I would've helped out with this cause, but I wouldn't have noticed the leadership associated with it. I now look at things and see leadership and want to tell Dr. Feinberg.

Thank you Dr. Feinberg for an interesting experience and for a wonderful class. I was skeptical, but you were awesome!

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus.

This week we talked about men and women and how to lead both. I agree that men and women are different. My husband and I view and handle things very differently at times. Leading the opposite sex can be hard. I noticed this when I played softball.

I never had a female coach from kindergarten to my senior year in high school. Some of my male coaches understood that girls are different than boys, but some didn't. Some of my coaches would yell at us and give us harsh criticism. Maybe this motivates boys to try harder and prove you wrong, but this does not work on girls. If you tell me I suck, then I'll believe you and lose all confidence in myself and get worse. Girls need more affirmation than boys, especially from men.

I've also noticed as a woman in college, that when you're in a group with men, you have to be more stern and very to the point. They don't respect weak recommendations. You have to be confident when you talk to them if you want them to take you seriously.

I think that these observations will serve me well as I go into the workplace and work with both sexes. I have a better understanding of how to work with men and I also know better how to handle other women.

Since Dr. Feinberg loves Youtube, I have posted two Youtube videos that I found that demonstrate the difference between men and women.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0LgJo9Do-8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8n76TiTieA

Let's Go to the Movies!

This week we had to turn in a leadership analysis of a recent movie. I thought this would be hard. I was trying to come up with movies like The Queen, then I watched Australia. I would have never considered this movie for a leadership review. It's a romantic drama. As soon as I heard Nicole Kidman's character say, "Just because it is, doesn't mean it should be," I started looking for the leadership and I found it. The movie revolved around this one phrase. The characters constantly tested society by living life the way they want and not listening to social rules they disagreed with. This movie made me a believer in Dr. Feinberg when he says that you can find leadership everywhere.

The Strong Ones

This was something I had to share. I mention several times in my blog how I'm in counseling. Well, I go to group therapy on Thursdays. I have a fear of showing weakness and being less than perfect. I sometimes feel like admitting that I go to counseling as a sign of weakness. I had something I couldn't handle and I had to ask for help. I struggle with that fact, but this past week a girl in my group told me something I had never thought of. She said her dad (a psychiatrist) always told her that he thought that the people that walked through his door were some of the bravest and strongest people he'd met. He said this because he thought it took an amazing amount of courage to ask for help. I starting thinking about how this relates to leadership. As a leader, if you need help you can't be afraid to ask because not only will you drown, but so will your followers. As a leader you are responsible for more than just yourself. You can't let your followers fail because you're too weak to admit you can't do something. The strong leaders ask for help.

3 weeks

This past week Dr. Feinberg told us we only had three weeks left of class. THREE WEEKS! I started to realize how fast my time here at Purdue has gone, and how much I wish I could go back and change. Until I started to go to counseling to help with some personal issues and fears this year, I never went out with friends much. I mostly holed myself up in my dorm room. I missed so many opportunities! If I were to do it all over again, I wouldn't have slept. I would have lived college life to its fullest. I would have joined as many clubs as I would've had time for. I think that this is going to be a building block in my leadership foundation. I will use this mistake to learn what to do later in life. I will seize every opportunity and make the most of my situations. A leader can't be passive. A leader must be energetic, motivated, and excited. I will try be these things in the next phases of my life. I think that will make me a better leader.

My New Job

I got the call today that I got a job I had applied for at the credit union I interned with last summer. I'm so excited! It's not just a job, but my dream job. I will be their new financial education coordinator. I will go to schools and workplaces to teach people how to use their money wisely. I think that, especially in this economy, this job will be a wonderful way to show leadership. I will teach people formally, but also, once people know what I do, teach people by example. I think that leading by example is one of the best ways to lead. People don't want to listen to a lot of talk and then see a hypocrite. I'm very excited to be in this position and to be able to lead people to use their money wisely.

Brown-Nosing

Recently I had an interview for my dream job. I have bombed interviews in the past. A while ago Dr. Feinberg sent out an attachment of how to turn the "What is your weakness, " question into a strength. I thought about my weakness and how to turn it into a strength. This also led me to think about other questions you hear a lot in interviews, and how I should answer them. Needless to say, I felt prepared in my interview. They told me I would hear from them in a week or two, but either way I felt like I needed to thank Dr. Feinberg. Yes, I brown-nosed. I wanted him to know my name and that I held him responsible for my confidence in my interview. I wanted him to know he'd done something good, and hoped he would be a better leader because of the praise. A good leader knows when to praise the people around them, even if it is just to get a better performance out of them. People need to know they are doing a good job. People need praise; leaders and followers alike. So, followers, praise your leaders so that they are motivated to help you more. Leaders, praise your followers so they are willing to put forth more effort to make you look good. All it takes is a little brown-nosing.

What do I want to be remembered for?

What do I want to be remembered for? This question should be easy to answer. For me, it wasn't. I've been thinking about it, and I'm still not sure. I want my mom to say that I was a loving and caring daughter and that she was proud of me. I want my husband to say that I was his partner, that I made him want to be a better man. I want my little sister to say that she loved me and that I was a role model to her. But what do I want the world to remember me for? I want and try to be a good person. I want to help people, but that's not enough. I guess I thought that since I wasn't famous, it didn't matter. The world wouldn't remember me anyway. Beyond what I want to be remembered for, how do you go about doing that? I'm 22, I don't think about dying very much. I'm just living life and trying to be happy. Being a leader is a 24/7 job. You must lead in every aspect of your life. I hadn't thought about that. This question has got me thinking about the future and how to better myself, but isn't that what a leader does?

Exam

This week we had our only exam. It was awful. The exam itself wasn't bad. Had I actually read through the entire book (which I know is completely my own fault) I could have done well. Before this exam, I had heard from other people that the exam was so hard that even reading the book wouldn't help. One of the example questions I got from one friend was, "What is the first sentence of the third chapter." I decided, based on this, that I would just skim for the "really important stuff." Then I got an email from a friend that had the attachment that Dr. Feinberg sent out last year after the exam. When I found out that the exam could have been written by our leaders or that they could've seen the exam to make us a study guide, I was mad. The whole exam was more of a test of whether or not our leaders cared about us. Us "peons" got the short end of the stick when it was our leaders fault. I thought in the real world that the leader gets the blame when their followers screwed up. I do take complete blame for not having read the book cover to cover. This whole thing taught me to do your best, even when someone tells you that mediocracy is ok. I also learned that you need to push your leader to help you. The next time I'm a in a leader position, I will try to remember this and help my followers shine.

Tower Building

Last Wednesday we had to build a tower out of whatever we could find with our new team. Our leader was really nice. She knew what needed to be done, but she was very open to suggestion. She got us all to work together. Within the group, I noticed that there were "subleaders" that emerged. A few of us stepped up and voiced ideas and got right to working. There were others that just stood and watched us for the most part. Just because I'm not the leader doesn't mean I shouldn't do something or add my input. The leaders aren't God. They don't have all the answers, if they did they wouldn't need a team. Anyway, back to the tower. We didn't win, but our tower was cute, creative, and it didn't fall down. I think we accomplished our taska and we were proud of what we did.

Kirk Weisler

Monday we spent 4 and a half hours listening to a man, Kirk Weisler, talk about leadership. I was not looking forward to it. Surprisingly, I enjoyed most of the evening. He had some powerful insights. One that I found that applied to me was to let my light shine. I complain a lot and constantly second guess myself and put myself down because I feel like that's what people want. People don't want you to think you're great or special. They want to hear how bad you have it so they can feel better. I'm going to try to stop that. Another thing that I liked is that he said that it is small adjustments. I can do slight adjustments. I've always been taught go big or go home, so I thought if I couldn't do it all, I wouldn't do it at all. I learned a lot from Kirk and I had fun. Who knew?!

Picking Leaders

Last Wednesday Dr. Feinberg asked those that wanted to be group leaders to come to the front of the room. I did not go. To be honest (even though I know Feinberg doesn't believe in "excuses"), I didn't go because I was scared and I truly don't think I could have handled it. Since then, Dr. Feinberg has constantly asked why we wouldn't want to be extraordinary and tried to make us feel awful. It worked....for a while. The other day I started to think about it and I just got angry. I have been battling some things ( that I don't really want to go into) but last semester I started to get help. This semester it is better, but I feel I have to focus on that and not on being a group leader. I don't think I could have handled it. I don't think this makes me anything but extraordinary. I am taking charge of my life to be happy and to have better relationships. I also knew my boundaries. These are two qualities are things I would look for in a leader. So looking at it now, I'm proud of myself. I chose to be a leader the day I chose not to be a group leader.

The Queen

Last Wednesday we had to watch the movie "The Queen" in class. It got me thinking about what makes the leader. Technically, the Queen of England is a leader by definition. But, is she really a leader? I think that a leader has to be given permission by the followers, and she really hasn't gotten permission. In the movie, especially, the people dictate her responses. Tony Blair, however, was given permission by the people to lead them. He also took charge and managed the situation. He didn't let the situation manage him like Queen Elizabeth did. I still am not sure if I think she's a leader. She didn't get permission and she didn't take charge, but she hasn't been overthrown so maybe that's enough of permission. So the jury is still out. Is the Queen of England a leader?

First Week

This week was a weird one. First, we had no professor either day! Mass confusion ensued. The first day a lot of people left, but some (like me) stayed. I think we were just too afraid to go early. The second day we were given a task to complete, but no instruction on how to do it. It was super vague too. Several people tried to get the class to do what they thought was right, but only one guy got everyone to quiet down and listen. It was so frustrating! I think that in order to be a good leader, you also have to know when to step down. These people didn't. They just kept going. You need to realize when you can't get the job down and when you're not effective. You have to be self-aware as a leader. Plus, don't go in front of everyone if you don't have a plan. Getting 200 people to come up with a plan together is ridiculous!!! That's why there is a board and/or boss that does that. I'm hoping it gets better, but right now I'm super stressed and worried about this class.