Exam

This week we had our only exam. It was awful. The exam itself wasn't bad. Had I actually read through the entire book (which I know is completely my own fault) I could have done well. Before this exam, I had heard from other people that the exam was so hard that even reading the book wouldn't help. One of the example questions I got from one friend was, "What is the first sentence of the third chapter." I decided, based on this, that I would just skim for the "really important stuff." Then I got an email from a friend that had the attachment that Dr. Feinberg sent out last year after the exam. When I found out that the exam could have been written by our leaders or that they could've seen the exam to make us a study guide, I was mad. The whole exam was more of a test of whether or not our leaders cared about us. Us "peons" got the short end of the stick when it was our leaders fault. I thought in the real world that the leader gets the blame when their followers screwed up. I do take complete blame for not having read the book cover to cover. This whole thing taught me to do your best, even when someone tells you that mediocracy is ok. I also learned that you need to push your leader to help you. The next time I'm a in a leader position, I will try to remember this and help my followers shine.

Tower Building

Last Wednesday we had to build a tower out of whatever we could find with our new team. Our leader was really nice. She knew what needed to be done, but she was very open to suggestion. She got us all to work together. Within the group, I noticed that there were "subleaders" that emerged. A few of us stepped up and voiced ideas and got right to working. There were others that just stood and watched us for the most part. Just because I'm not the leader doesn't mean I shouldn't do something or add my input. The leaders aren't God. They don't have all the answers, if they did they wouldn't need a team. Anyway, back to the tower. We didn't win, but our tower was cute, creative, and it didn't fall down. I think we accomplished our taska and we were proud of what we did.

Kirk Weisler

Monday we spent 4 and a half hours listening to a man, Kirk Weisler, talk about leadership. I was not looking forward to it. Surprisingly, I enjoyed most of the evening. He had some powerful insights. One that I found that applied to me was to let my light shine. I complain a lot and constantly second guess myself and put myself down because I feel like that's what people want. People don't want you to think you're great or special. They want to hear how bad you have it so they can feel better. I'm going to try to stop that. Another thing that I liked is that he said that it is small adjustments. I can do slight adjustments. I've always been taught go big or go home, so I thought if I couldn't do it all, I wouldn't do it at all. I learned a lot from Kirk and I had fun. Who knew?!

Picking Leaders

Last Wednesday Dr. Feinberg asked those that wanted to be group leaders to come to the front of the room. I did not go. To be honest (even though I know Feinberg doesn't believe in "excuses"), I didn't go because I was scared and I truly don't think I could have handled it. Since then, Dr. Feinberg has constantly asked why we wouldn't want to be extraordinary and tried to make us feel awful. It worked....for a while. The other day I started to think about it and I just got angry. I have been battling some things ( that I don't really want to go into) but last semester I started to get help. This semester it is better, but I feel I have to focus on that and not on being a group leader. I don't think I could have handled it. I don't think this makes me anything but extraordinary. I am taking charge of my life to be happy and to have better relationships. I also knew my boundaries. These are two qualities are things I would look for in a leader. So looking at it now, I'm proud of myself. I chose to be a leader the day I chose not to be a group leader.